Fragments One

May 18, 1997  Sunday

Yesterday I played my last game of organized baseball.  I the JV game against Dee-mack I finally made contact. At my last at-bat I laid down a bunt to move along Jeremy Biggs.  I could have beaten out the throw by a couple steps easily, but I was surprised to hear the ping of the bat, and got a late start out of the box.  The other thing I am proud is that I went errorless the entire season(four for four), with two put-outs.  Regionals is Tuesday at Peoria Heights.  Baseball has been anything but easy, yet overall I had fun.

When I got home I raced south to Canton by gifts for Nicole’s birthday party tomorrow.  Time is so strange.  I remember vividly standing in the kitchen, watching the clock strike 11:07 on my own tenth birthday.  Now it is happening to Nicole.  And it doesn’t any time at all you remember her small and pink in her bassinet, or feeding her from warmed bottles.  I also suggested her name to Mom and Dad.  Nicole just sounded nice to me at the time.

In less than two hours I will be graduating.  It will likely be the last time we will all be together.  Yet, it doesn’t feel right.  Where is Christy Gold, or Will Davies, or Mitchell Kind?  Where are the other sixty-odd people who were a part of this class?  They’re not here, and we are not whole.

I have given IAOT?  to Sidney, as a graduation present.  Of everything and everyone I am leaving, I will miss her the most.  I am proud to be her friend, and honored to have meant more.  I know if it weren’t for our dividing paths, we might still be together.  Then I imagine if I had never met Sidney Walls at all.  What if she had never come to Elmwood?   I never would have known what I was missing out on, and that’s scary.  I am so thankful I have had the chance to meet Sidney, and be a part of her life.  I’ll never understand the unnecessary strain her puts on herself, but nevertheless, somehow that is also part of her appeal.  I guess I am writing about her so much right now because I don’t know how many opportunities I have left.

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