We Will Just Have to See

May 13, 1997  Tuesday

It is time once again for another ye olde journal entry.  Last night I stayed up until 1:00 in the morning to get my Accounting done.  I can’t say it is perfect, but the major things are finished…

Now, on to today.  Our class went to the Y in Canton for a day for fun and activity.  I have completely avoided Sidney throughout, as she would like.  I have given her so much space sometimes I would go out of my way not to see her around the gym.  I felt bad doing it, but this “space” thing has to be. It was asked, so I will oblige.  As semi-expected, she didn’t talk to me she would said she would. No matter, though, that’s just what people say some times, to be polite.  Either she’s still figuring things out her herself, or would rather not talk with everyone around.  Several times during the day I was doing things by myself to give this opportunity, but to no avail.

There are still, however, to faint glimmers: Reagan Potts and I were playing racquetball  in gym when we decided to stop for a minute to get a drink.  When we opened the door, we found Sidney standing outside, who had been watching through the sit in racquetball court’s door.  Later, when I was lifting weights, I was standing in front of a large mirror.  In it, I saw Sidney, upstairs and behind me, watching me around the corner of the wall.  Other than these things, it was like I wasn’t even there.  I did have a lot of fun, playing racquetball, lifting weights, and running the indoor track.

Yet I am done.  I have no more letters, ideas, sayings, or scenarios.  This was my last try.  I simply tired of have to justify myself to the a segment of the Elmwood community about a personal feeling I truly have.  To have honest and straight-forward, I do not think Sidney will speak to me tomorrow either.  We will just have to see.

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