As the Past Gives Way to the Present… and the Future

November 16, 1997  Sunday

Events that on going on here helped me decide to go home for the weekend–true–but the major reason that I wanted to see Sidney.  She came home from college as well, though to see her sister Cilla in the high school’s production of Twelve Angry Jurors.

Dad picked me up outside of Thompson Hall around 6:45.  On the way home I told Dad about current events, and he tried his best to give advice.  Usually, though, he tries his best to advise me, it often doesn’t hit the mark.  That night I just relaxed–you know, what I usually do–and enjoyed being home.  Nicole was really happy to have me home, and wouldn’t leave my side all right.  Saturday I ran through the streets of Elmwood, simply waiting for that night when I would be reunited with my old Second-string-best-friend.  Perhaps I should make up a new name for Sidney.  After all, the old one is outdated.  It used to refer to her as my very best friend, second only to Hoke.  How about “Long-distance Buddy?”  I’ll work on it.

Saturday night at the play I had just gotten my ticket ouside the auditorium, when, receiving a jab in my back.  I turned to see who it was.  It was her.  We got to catch up a little before the play and during intermission, but not as much as I would have hoped.  Afterwards, for the some reason, the school librarian Mrs. Hipply brought up the subject of Hoke.  When I said I hadn’t heard from him because I didn’t have his email, Sidney was right there to recite it for me.  Really, I want nothing more than for Hoke and I to be best friends again, but truthfully, I’m scared.  I never wanted any of this, but I also didn’t have much say in the friction.  I just want to have fun like we used to , but I don’t know if he’s totally done being on me.  Then I almost smile at it all.  He has no idea about my true role in any of it.  I smile and think, “What should he be so mad about?  I’ve suffered untold times more, but have said nothing.”  Mom asked me over the weekend if I think Hoke and I will ever be friends again.  I answered honestly that I thought it would take something to make that happen.  Like in seventh grade, when we had our other “fight” (which I understood even less), we began to get back together because we were both on the Scholastic Bowl team.  I really wonder if Hoke knows about my present relationship with Sidney.  For example, if we did something as a group, and I happened to be talking about her, would he think I still like her?  Which reminds me of something else.  When Dad was bringing me back, and I had just been talking about the coming Saturday night with Sidney, Dad suddenly asked, “Do you believe in soulmates?”  That word might be perfect.  …Wow, I really got off the subject, but I haven’t rambled in my writing like that for a while.  Knockin’ the rust off.

Anyway, after the play Sidney asked if I was doing anything, and of course I said not really.  I suggested a movie uptown, which turned out to be… I Know What You Did Last Summer.  Again.  I was grabbed at during the scary parts, and occasionally hit for no good reason, but I finally figured out the plot.  I’m not sure if it was worth seeing Summer twice, but it was nice spending the extra time with her. Before we got in our separate cars to go home, Sidney invited me to come to Knox some time.  She will probably come to Macomb in three weeks, since Knox being on trimesters means that after this week she doesn’t have to return to Galesburg until January 4th.

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