“More Chronicles of an Artist” by Jake Baskins

December 17, 1997  Wednesday

More tales, written by Jake:

“Once there was a young lad named Will Calson (left-handed).  He really liked to draw, so we named him the Land-Handed Artist.  He brought a Super Nintendo game to WIU called John Madden ’94.  At the beginning of the year he beat everyone by an easy 25-50 points.  I, Jake “The Stud” Baskins, was the only gutsy person to stick with it and play him everyday.  It is now the end of the semester, and I am beating him by 100 points.  It is really funny, because even though I am beating him by 100 points, he still takes the time to write all the stats down.  I have to give him credit because it makes his whoopin’ that much harder to swallow.  It is getting to the point where he doesn’t want to play me anymore.

While we play football games we listen to Will’s assortment of CDs.  Some of the music we have to listen to consists of Phil Collins, Elton John, and Billy Joel.  The funniest part about his music selection is a guy down the hall named Tom Shillings, who rips the hell out of his tunes.  One of Tom’s favorite songs is Journey’s “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart).”  Every time it plays he comes down the hall to dance.  The entire campus at WIU thinks the Will (Left-Handed Artist) is really Samuel L. Jackson is a little white boy body.

Lil’ D his roommate just received his first body-ruining feature, which I like.  He is really proud of his tattoo of barbed wire.  They like to listen to Herbie Hancock, brother of John Hancock.

Will is my favorite artist and procrastinator because even though I’ve leaving Western he’s not that far behind.  They like to rip on me because I can’t spell the best, but they’re just jealous of my bulging pecs.  Will in his first semester has kissed one girl and been kissed by three.  He is the coolest!  He is a big-time derelict, that is supposed to have two finals at the same time tomorrow morning.  But, of course, he came out Even-Steven in the end.

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