July 30, 1998  Thursday

The night had for the most part come and gone this morning.  My alarm went off at 8:00, and I wisely hit the snooze–or unwisely, now the knowing the result of my extended sleep.  No, I wasn’t late for class.  I had a dream:

The summer session was almost over, with only two more days remaining.  As I walk to class, Sidney had arrived just a second earlier, and is sitting down in the back right corner.  I think to myself that I haven’t seen her almost the entire summer session–at least out of this class.  I go back to where she is sitting and take a seat next to her.  I say that I haven’t seen her much, and she says she has been very busy.  “I understand,” I think to myself.  “So,” I say, “what floor are you on?”  “The fifth floor,” she replies, and as my mind registers that, she pulls out a pack of cigarettes.

“Maybe we could get something to eat,” I suggest.  She gives me a look, so I quickly add, “Just for something to do after class, I mean.”  She really isn’t for that, and I try to convince her until I realize the class has stopped and all are now turned to watch our little drama play out.  I apologize to the professor, and the class resumes.  When it is finally over I try again.

“I’ve kept to myself this summer,” she tells me, “to avoid any situations like this.”  Seeing she is about to leave, I motion to her.

“Before you go,” I begin, “I want to tell you how much I lo-” and then stop, just as she winces.  “Alright, alright.  no L-word.  I want you to know what you mean to me, and how wonderful you are.  In the last year I still remember those key parts.”  I continue to talk, and when I was finished I braced myself for her storming out of the room.  She didn’t.  She looked at me and said, “Let’s go.”

Speechless, I go with her.  We go into her room, and she packs I talk about the last twelve months.  The entire time I’m thinking, “It happened!”

I ride shotgun in the Audi as we drive to Elmwood at night.  Sidney’s telling me about her last year.  We come to Sweetwater Park in Elmwood, but I continuous flow of trains won’t allow us to reach the other side of the tracks.  I get to the other side by finding another way across, but in the process I lose track of the Audi.  I continue on to my house, which is just a few hundred yards away.

When I arrive, I find all the Connor family members from my mom’s side are there, and I ask where Sidney is.  They tell me, “Air Force One,” so I think, “Yeah, she’s on Air Force One…sure.”

Then I see it, Air Force One, in my backyard.  I go out to it and climb the stairs leading to the plane.  There are a lot of people in it.  To the right a woman is coming out of a compartment, and everyone murmurs, “Look, the president!”  I see a pale blonde head sitting in a seat not far away, facing away from me, near the compartment the older woman had just exited from.  And as I near Sidney I think, “So what, it’s only the president.”

One commentary on my dream: I wish my mind would shut up!