November 2, 1999 Tuesday
The first “Why I Write This Thing” was written on September 8, 1996
Last night Collinsville was looking through this current volume when he took issue with “Re-establishment Part 3: Pike-hood.” He said I had to take a lot of what I wrote out because there would be 40-odd Pikes on me in an instant if they knew what I had written. He add that I had taken an oath to God to never reveal the secrets of the Pikes.
First, I very much respect Collinsville and his opinion on this. It means a lot to him, so I gave it some thought. This is party true (in one sense, in his way of looking at things, yes, completely true). Perhaps thought the Almighty missed what a group of guys in Illinois were doing with a bunch of candles one night; besides, I think He blushes at half things they want to do. Regardless, I don’t think I learned any big secrets that every single other fraternity in the world has thought up, like I knew the combination to the Pike house or was bestowed the Universal Hush-hush Secret of Brotherhood and Quite Excellent Keg Tapping. Even if I did learn any deeply held frat riddles, I wouldn’t really care enough. So what if they put a (TOP SECRET) around my eyes and we did (CLASSIFIED) in a dark room? Doesn’t 99.7% of Greek tribes on earth do the exact same thing?
I cannot alter what occurred, as this goes against the reason for writing. The I can do is alter some names a bit, which seems like a compromise. If I should follow this to its eventually conclusion, I would not have much of a record. Everyone would have their own section expunged. And if I should just mix everything up until up is down and left is right, then I just aced my last three Geology tests, Jeremy is a the coolest guy ever, the Backsreet Boys rock my pants off, Carmille and Barely are sweet little angels, and Amdor is a freakin’ genius!
Again, though, to be fair to Collinsville and his very understandable protective nature towards his Pikes, this could be seen either way. I’m glad he had brought this up, and it is something I have wrestled with myself. It happens a lot when you write of other people for years. Is there perhaps a 20 year statute of limitations on such things? Seems like there should be. I promise I will not share my small geeky quips with the Federal Authorities, foreign nationals, or the rival Delts. So help me God.
From 2016: For fun today I looked up what the Western Pike chapter is like many years later, and quickly read some reviews (online, yes…). Actually, beforehand, I couldn’t be certain such a chapter even still existed. They seem to get low marks (stars) on one website called greekrank.com on classiness and cleanliness, and a few referred to them as “dumb jocks.” Who knows if any of it is true. I will check in them in another fifteen years and see if things have improved anyway. See you in 2031, guys.